Men and Women

"Did you clean the gutter yet? Have you fixed the television? Are you listening to me? Hey did you just fluff your Garfield on my new hair iron?" How many times have you heard these obnoxious questions from your wife or girlfriend? Like three hundred zillion times right? It's just a constant nag fest twenty four seven. The women in this world just don't know when to stop talking. Men are just the opposite. We're all relaxed and cool individuals who do nothing wrong until the women come in and ruin everything. That's why men didn't let women have as many rights back then because they were scared of what those shedevils would do to the world with all that power. I'm scared just letting my sister babysit me when my parents are gone. She makes me wear her dresses and gives me Indian sunburns until I puke. Men and women have nothing in common and are an awful combination...so you think.

Now lets talk science for a bit. For those wee ones reading this I'd suggest you'd stop right now and go back to your Berenstein Bears because it's gonna get hot and dirty in here. Men have dingleberries and women have flarglesnoops. It's as simple as that. We like to stick our dingleberies into women's flarglesnoops because it feels good and it also makes slimy ass babies. They were made for each other, like a key and a key hole, a snake and a snake hole, or even a hole and a hole hole. What I'm trying to say is that pee pees point outward on the body and vee vees point inward on the body. Our shlongs fit right into the women perfectly, unless you're Raptor who's wiener is smaller than an acorn. I know cause I looked at it while he was sleeping.

Now I'm no homophobe saying that only men and women could engage in the sex business perfectly. What makes these gay men not so perfect is that poop lives in their butts and that poop gets all over their rods. And gay women...well...I don't really know how they have sex. Sex is just so fitting when it involves a man and a woman. Another thought for you to munch on is that men and women's opposite abilities come together beautifully when connecting genitals. Women are flexible where as men are stiff, but somehow that works. Women are silky soft where as men are rough with pubes and such, but somehow that works. Women are weak and brittle where as men are strong and smart, but somehow that works. Men's big hands fit perfectly on a woman's boob sac. Women also do wonderful things with their tongues that only men can appreciate. Sex is just the one thing connecting cool ass men and stinky butt women and without sex it wouldn't just be the dinosaurs who are extinct. Women would be...cause men would kill them...hehehe....get it?

Buttsocket!