“All you need for a movie is a gun and a girl.”
-Jean Luc Godard
I know what you’re thinking and it’s true, a gun can indeed silence a woman. But that’s murder my friend and that’s not what this quote is about. You see, this quote was created by a brilliant man named Jean Luc Godard. Now make sure when you read his name you roll your tongue and try to huck a lugie because this man is indeed a Francais. (That’s French for French weasel teeth.) Jean Luc Godard is a famous French director who was one of the pioneers of the French New Wave.
“I thought France’s old waves were big enough already.”
Shut the fuck up Raptor that’s not even a funny joke! And stop saying stuff during my posts. I don’t even know why I don’t delete this before publishing.
The French New Wave was when a couple young, French ass filmmakers decided to disobey the system and make films that rejected the classical cinematic form. For example, say there’s a typical movie about Billy James chewing mud. BORING! These French boyz would’ve taken that Billy James chewing mud and change it to him chewing mud with a cigarette and saying poetic shit. That totally puts the system in its place. Now I’m probably shoving tons of info up your nostril bums right now but just remember that Jean Luc Godard’s films were unlike most Hollywood squat. They consisted of thought-provoking dialogue, political ideologies, and characters who you would find interesting even when they’re clothed. This is the kind of stuff you can only find in Steven Seagal’s Half Past Dead. But what fascinates me most about Luc Luc is how he has changed the woman that we all know and dread to a woman who we would gladly shave our peepees for. This croissant sniffing genius has created the IDEAL woman.
It might come to a surprise but I am quite the expert in the female gender. Some say I know the female psych a little too well, which is probably why they stopped talking to me. After years of womanly research on google images, I’ve discovered the many problems with these milk infested honkies. Women today have too many lame feelings, get offended too easily, aren’t funny, and can’t take a punch to the face. Why would any man want to hang out with someone like that? It was that very question that went through the mind of Jean Luc Godard as he put his brain slaves to work in order to create a tolerable gal. And as luck would have it, along with a good brain slave whippin', Godard succeeded in just that. In his films you’ll find the women characters to be so much more fun. They’re funny, energetic, spontaneous, intelligent, adventurous, and also SMMMMMOKIN!!! You’ll never guess what they’ll do next but they're so hot you don’t even care. On top of that they say some poetic words that melt your ear drums into next week.
This is a scene from Jean Luc Godard’s lost film Le Petit Peep. The dialogue is in French so you might have to bring it to a translator.
Stephane: Your eyes are like two of le God’s testicles.
Charlotte: But isn’t le God inside us? Aren’t we all just filled with les testicles?
Stephane: I love you. Bibliothèque.
Charlotte: I want to be dead so I could wish I were alive. Fuck me!!!
Shephane: L’Aight.
As that scene shows you, these woman are serious business. You won’t know what to expect in a relationship with them mommas. All you can do is act like an all around cool French guy as your honey actually keeps you entertained with her words. Wait...What...I’m sorry but I’m just in shock from my last sentence. Entertained by her WORDS?!?! Since when does a man EVER get entertained by a woman’s words? Normally you’d be listening to a nag fest about how you're not a good listener or your butt stinks and that nag fest never turns into a hump fest. With Jean’s women, you could listen to her for hours and actually enjoy retaining the information. Plus, while she talks you can take a gander at her sweet jugs. Even women in other films can't out-sexify Godard's. Sure you'd want Angelina Jolie inside your pants right now but have you ever thought about being in an actual relationship with her? Her, along with all other women, just want to get as many kids as possible and make you take care of them while they go get a pedicure. It's unfair I tell ya.
