Just imagine walking down a lonely, wet street just after your parent’s funeral. They died of course from being trampled by eighteen whores and thirty-two midgets just outside of TGI Fridays. It happens to the best of us. Anyway, you’re walking home with lost hope in the world. Your misery is starting to overcome you. It’s night time and your shadow stretches across the gravel. Trash fills the streets and a sharp wind stings your face. You’re all alone...alone...alone (echo). Oh yeah everything is in black and white too. But then out of no where this sad, melodic tune from an old piano fades in. It plays a song that transforms what you’re feeling into a musical form. It sounds a little like this. Just when your heart is ripped out your body from the beauty of this soft piano another sound comes in and puts your heart in the grinder and your balls in a stew. It’s the sound of a violin that sneaks in and mixes so well with the piano that it gives the Greek Gods orgasms. That sounds a little like this.The combination of these two instruments just create such a peaceful, warm mood that tickles your whole body, especially your butt hairs.
In a world full of chaos and cat raping we need to listen to something to calm us down. Rap and rock music just talk about elbowing hookers and smoking the marawons which doesn’t really help all this violence shove it. I discovered this wonderful musical combination when I was in a huge fight with Raptor. You see, Raptor stole one of my Dunkaroos so I told him to get bent and then we just started going at it like real men. We slapped each other for hours until a car drove by blasting a beautiful song with just a piano and violin playing. We experienced such tranquility that we stopped mid slap and just froze. I of course took that opportunity to round-house-kick his lights out and he ran home crying like a fucking galoop. Even though the music was just so breathtaking, I’m still not such a pusspot that I’d let it completely overwhelm me when theres a chance to put Raptor in the muck. What kind of guy do you think I am?
“A queer guy!”
No Raptor fuck you!!!
You see, a piano is like a Mermaid; they are beautiful, majestic animals that everyone wants to have. The only problem with mermaids is that...well...their lower half doesn’t really please any genitals because it’s scaly as fuck. Now you know that things become one hundred times better when you can put your genitals in it. Mermaids just show their knockers left and right but never put out. But don’t you worry baby boo because this is where the violin comes in and fixes everything. The violin would be the lower half of a woman that replaces the mermaid’s scaly ass tail shit. So the combination of a piano and violin is kinda like a mystical mermaid with a hot, human top and lower half of her body, making you say “Dayum babe is that an oyster in your ass or are just you happy to see me?” Unfortunately she actually does have an oyster in her ass and she probably got poop all over it. But just remember friendos, whenever you’re down in the dumps or up in the lumps take a gander with your ears at a real supreme composition. Your butt hairs will be thoroughly pleased.
