What you're about to read is a story from the missing pages of the Hole Bible. This will change you're perception on life, religion, and dip.
After Jesus Christ built a reputation and became super popular with all the villagers, he started to run into some trouble. The village was always short on food and relied on Jesus to use his wicked sweet powers to make bread and wine for everyone. But Jesus became tired from constantly using this power and getting no reward for it. So just like Peter Parker in "Spiderman 2," Jesus started to loose his powers because he didn't really appreciate them anymore. But the people's hunger soon grew strong and they started to blame Jesus for their struggles. To keep his rep, Jesus tried his hardest to find food elsewhere. He noticed that the village only grew spinach and artichokes in the gardens but these two foods were too bitter and tasteless for the villagers to handle so no one even dared eat them. So Jesus, with his sharp wit and spider-like reflexes, took the two foods and mixed them together with some cheese and shit to create an act of God.
This miracle that fed so many in the past still exists today. It is formally known as spinach and artichoke dip. What makes this dip a perfect combination is that it contains vegetables that TASTE GOOD! Adults love to be super dick wads and shove disgusting vegetables down their poor kid's throats because they're jealous of our youth. But with this warm, cheesy delight you'll get your dose of vegetables and be as satisfied as a horse's ass. Instead of thinking about how that last remark made no sense think about how spinach and artichoke dip is perfect for any average shmuck. It's very easy to make and not at all time consuming so you could have enough time to blog about how great this blog is. When finished cooking this dip, people will also think you've slaved over a hot stove because it looks so professional it's like Bobby Flay came in and cooked up a stew. So if you have any boring ass chips or boring ass pieces of bread just hanging around your boring ass house, make up some spinach and artichoke dip super fast and dip that shit like you'd never believe. You could also have the ladies come over your house some day and cook them up some of this nice dip and they'll totally go first base with you in a matter of seconds. But make sure you don't go to any further bases with them because that's so yucky. I even asked my whole neighborhood if they loved this dip and the only one that said no was my arch nemesis Raptor, but that's only because he's a dick. So kneel down, look up into the sky, and thank Jesus Christ for this absolutely delicious creation.
